Internal to External
We’ve got to look to what’s going on in our hearts if we’re going to open up a pathway to pursue our souls’ greatest desires. ~Joshua Becker
When dreaming and thinking big, it is so easy to get caught up in the clouds without realizing how far we drift from our personal path when we aren’t grounded in our truths. That might sound a little odd, but hear me out. Dreaming and thinking big are fabulous so long as you are staying true to you and not sabotaging your success to follow down the wrong path due to outside influences.
We start off with big ideas that we are passionate about and set some badass goals, because we’ve, all of a sudden, grown the balls to go for it. With extra gusto too! Everything is bright and exciting and brings loads of joy that we haven’t felt in a while. However, what happens when we get a little down the road on that journey is we start to notice some disruptions along the way. Disruptions that hinder our outlook and success rate. Disruptions could be anything depending on what you’re going for and how you handle situations when they pop up. For some it might be big life changes that were out of your hands, a culmination of a lot of little distractions of to-do’s that each need attention-yesterday, too much on the social calendar, kids’ activities that require your shuttle service, text messages needing responses, your homeschooler needing help with their studies, emails waiting in cue, etc. The list is plentiful and ever changing as the days, weeks, and years go by depending on the season you’re walking through. Stay with me…
Personally, since high school, my heart has always been for creating. Somehow, I have made it this far and the passion for art and writing has not left me. So, I know it’s a strong calling...actually, stronger now than ever before! So…why am I not more successful by now if I’ve been at it since I was 15 years old? Disruptions. Since then, I’ve had my fair share of disruptions pop up. Have I always handled them the right way? No…no, not at all. Many of the above listed disruptions have popped up numerous times. However, a big one has been fear. Fear of what? Sheesh, where to even start?! Fear of making the wrong choice, fear of what other people will think, fear of not getting enough support, fear of failing, fear of disappointing people, fear of actually succeeding and then not being able to carry through, fear of not being talented enough, blah, blah, and blah. The biggest disruption that I’ve been stuck on many, many times that always causes me to become stagnant (frozen really) is listening to my inner critic judge myself, preventing me from really taking ownership of what I’m truly capable of. Being frozen by my inner critic prevented me from manifesting my souls’ deepest desires for too many years. I’m learning that my internal dialogue has the greatest impact on anything I set my hands and mind to. As soon as I’m in a good flow, my mind rears up, intimidates me and causes me to judge myself by repeating, "Nope, this is too good to be true. How could you possibly become a successful artist or writer? No one will pay attention to you. You’re not good enough…there are way more artists in the world that are far more talented than you!" Eventually, I start to believe it and I experience a self-sabotaging of the flow that I had such a fabulous start with. Essentially, this creates a block that keeps me from continuing on. Excuses become easier to lean on than facing my inner critic. Life continues in this state and then one day I snap out of it and realize I’m not anywhere near where I had hoped I’d be and wonder why. It's a vicious cycle. I know when God is trying to get my attention when a similar message is interwoven throughout many circumstances, situations, people I speak with, and even books and articles I come across! The message I’m currently hearing regularly, learning from, and having to own is that everything begins internally before anything is manifested externally. Having to take a deep look within and “clean house” in my heart first before embarking on a journey in order to secure the success of that journey. Knowing that it’s required of me to face those thoughts that my inner critic creates and to weed-out that block, and then…learning how to prevent that block from halting me in my tracks again to keep me from fulfilling what I know God created me to do.
A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. ~Luke 6:45 NIV
I realize that I have the power within me to gather up my energy to co-create the manifestations I want to see in my world. To attract positive outcomes in my life, it all begins within. It starts in my mind and in my heart before a word even comes out of my mouth. Before an action takes place, I have to dwell on what I want to set my hands and feet to head towards before I even take the first action step. Yoga and Meditation has grown to be a big part of my process each day to keep my being in the right head space. Relying on my faith instead of allowing my thoughts to give way to my inner critic and the fear my thoughts create. Learning to continue to speak life, every day, over each person in my little family, over our day ahead, and over any circumstance we face. Observing and making mental notes of everything I’m grateful for at the end of each day. Every little bit helps to strengthen me, to dig my heels deeper into my truths, so that my inner critic has no place to get cozy in my mind. This process helps me learn how to become present with it, honoring the swirl of thoughts and emotions it causes and then gently releasing it to free my being to thrive. It’s scary to have to face it all honestly, but I know regret will eat away at me if I don’t.
All the people, circumstances, and events that make up every moment of your life are being attracted back to you through the thoughts and feelings you’re giving out…It’s your thoughts that determine whether your words and actions will be positive or negative. ~Rhonda Byrne
Adding to the momentum of what I’m positively attracting into my life, this year I am focusing on facing those thoughts and fears head on, daily, and pushing forward in my paintings and writings. I’m all in! Expressing myself through my artwork and writings by being open and unapologetic for all I have within me to share with you and each person I encounter whether in person or online. Choosing to expand my paintings beyond my comfort zone with all the wild ideas I have brewing and are ready to bubble out of me. Sharing words through my blog that constantly swirl around in my heart that I know others might enjoy and glean insight from as well. The war cry of my artwork and writings embraces words that align with all that is rising within me: Faith. Worthy. Audacious. Grateful. Distinct. Wonderment. Tempestuous. Vivacious. Discovery. Adventure. Unfettered. Mindful. Abundant. Don't let any of those words intimidate you. They work collaboratively to release all the good that is waiting to be released onto my canvases and in my writings. My heart is to share all I'm learning on this journey with the hopes that it will bring encouragement to you and spark a fire in your soul to seek out what makes you happiest.
Last year was an interesting year for us. My time and energy had been solely focused on our little family and our home and some big transitions. As scary as some moments became for us, God got us through some tough situations and proved His plan is always better. The enemy of Gods best is settling for what we think is good, usually only good enough to get by mediocrely. Let that sink in. I’m choosing to face my inner critic and the fears it creates within me to go after what I love most. Now is better than never. If you’re in a tough spot and not sure how you got where you are, it’s okay. If you’re overwhelmed with thoughts of fear, it’s okay. If you are inundated with a laundry list of distractions, it’s okay. If you are looking up and realizing that you are nowhere near where you’d like to be at this time on your journey in life, it’s okay. We have all been there! You’re still here and you have been created on purpose, with a purpose, for a purpose. It’s never, ever too late for a massive redirect. Just start small. Start within.
Comment below to share of ways that help you to handle disruptions to focus on pursuing your souls' deepest desires. By sharing you could provide a spark of hope to help someone who really needs it.
Sending each of you loads of Love and Light,
P.S. - Building up to the release of my painting collection, Painterly Happenstance, I'll be regularly sharing fragments of sneak-peeks for you to enjoy along the way through email about twice a month. You can subscribe here to receive the special updates!